


Accidently Actors: Vampire MD

by orphan_account



Category: Real Person Fiction, The Vampire Diaries (TV), Vampire Diaries RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Characters in alternate universe, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Life Swap, RPF, Real Life, Trash Fic, crackfic, the story no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 20:51:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11260749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: After a spell to reveal the truth about a secret Damon has been hiding goes terribly wrong, Bonnie and Damon wake up in a completely different universe. One where instead of Bonnie and Damon, they are Kat and Ian,  actors on a supernatural hospital soap opera called "Vampire MD."  The two of them are left face to face in a vaguely familiar world with people who look and sound just like their friends, and enemies, but could not be further from the real thing. How will they live in this new world,  and how will they get back to their own?





	Accidently Actors: Vampire MD

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mixed RPF fic with some real person characters, some original, and some tvd characters stuck in an alternative universe where they are seen by other characters as the names of the real people. I do not own TVD and any information about the real people is made up. Plot is not based on real events and is 100% fictional.

**1**

_He's lying...damnit all to hell, he's lying and I'm going to find out._  
  
Bonnie was steaming inside her own head. It was a pointless way to pass time, but, she couldn't help but pace around the freshly vacuumed space of her bedroom. Exhaling slowly, she shook her head, and placed a hand on her head. Bonnie had been noticing Damon's peculiar behavior over the last two weeks. Elena and him were having major issues, and even that was an understatement. The two dysfunctional love birds had made it to their two year anniversary but not any further. Having broken up three weeks prior.   
  
What bothered Bonnie, was she knew nothing about why. Sure, she heard little pieces. They were fighting, they wanted different things... Damon was an asshole. Yada, yada - but Caroline was the one who seemed to know everything about Elena and Damon's personal lives. Meanwhile Bonnie was feeling more and more left out. So, when Damon started acting strangely, and not in the pining over Elena way, trying to figure out why was the most rational and distracting thing Bonnie could think to do...   
  
Alright, so, maybe she was having some troubles herself...   
  
"We're supposed to be friends, you'd think he'd talk to me." Bonnie rolled her eyes as she kicked off her sneakers at last and stormed back through the house into the living room.  
  
It was true, Bonnie and Damon had been best friends...but, getting back with Elena had made the man, into a leashed vampire puppy. Following Elena around whenever he could. Bonnie felt like she was losing Damon as a friend, and beyond everything she could've imagined, she was kind of bothered by that... On top of that, Jeremy was driving her nuts! He had come to visit her twice in the last two years. Once they'd had sex, and it was obviously 'oh god I missed you it's been so long' sex, but the second time... Bonnie was so frustrated by his lack of communication she could barely look at him.   
  
After three months of nary a text, email, snapchat, facebook comment, or skype call, Bonnie had sent him a short, and simple text.   
  
 **This isn't working. We're done.  
  
** It'd been five days since she sent that text. No answer. She decided on midnight of the seventh day, she was blocking Little Gilbert for good. She knew he was there, he called Princess Elena every two days, and posted photo's of his adventures on the road. He'd finally come clean about not being at Art School. As if that was such a surprise.   
  
  
"Vanilla ass delinquent." Bonnie mumbled to herself, starting on a path of being angry about a cluster of things. She slid on her socks into the kitchen, and shoved an entire bag of toaster strudels into the six slot toaster on the counter. Three strawberry, three chocolate. Healthy eating be damned on this Friday night.   
  
There was a buzzing of her cellphone in her jean shorts pocket and she grabbed it in one slow annoyed motion. Her eyes lit up, and grew darker somehow at the same time as she saw the name, _DBAG_ , on her notifications. She'd recently edited Damon's contact information... See also - Damon Shitatore. WIth an added poop emoji. Bonnie rolled her eyes, but clicked on the message.   
  
 **Where the hell did you go? You stormed out of the grill before I got back from the bar.  
  
** Bonnie sighed, her lips vibrating. She stared at the text for a full two minutes, until the popping of the toaster startled her back into action. She carefully got her food onto a large pale pink ceramic plate that had a tiny chip in along the edge, showing the white inside. Bonnie squeezed the white sticky glaze on all the strudels and then carried the plate to the couch. Flipping on the smart TV she had bought a year before, she found Netflix and began catching up on one of her favorite drama crime shows. Ten minutes in, and two toaster strudels later, she finally decided to answer Damon's text.   
  
 **You pissed me off.  
  
** Bonnie set her phone down and not two more bites into her food, her phone buzzed with another message from Damon.   
  
 **Open the door.  
  
** She furrowed her brow, confused for a moment, but then she heard two solid raps on the front door and the creaking of the screen door followed. Bonnie rolled her eyes and slid her plate to the side of her lap before getting up off the couch. Stepping carefully, she hoped he wouldn't hear her. Bonnie stood four feet from the door with her arms crossed over her chest. Her phone vibrated once more, but it was on the couch, so she didn't see it. She could guess the context of the message however... A few seconds later, there was another knock at the door.   
  
"Bonnie, I heard you get up and I can hear the television. I know you're here." Damon's voice came from the other side of the door. Bonnie sighed at walked over to pause Netflix. In the time she was doing this, she heard a cracking and bending of the doorknob as Damon forced it unlocked and pushed the door open as far as he could. He'd already been invited in, so there was no stopping him.   
  
Bonnie turned around with a frustrated and surprised look on her face. Damon'd boots thudded against the floor as he stepped in, and she motioned towards the broken door. "What the hell Damon?! I was just about to open the door." She said. Her chest was lifting heavily with her breath.   
  
Damon put his hands out at the sides, and gave her a wide blue eyed look, and shook his head twice. "I'll fix it, I'll fix it." he told her calmly, and shook his hands for a second before shoving them into his pockets and kicking the door closed. Because the lock was broken, it clattered a little and didn't stay closed completely.   
Bonnie rolled her eyes for what seemed like the tenth time that day and folded her arms across her chest again. Damon looked at her weird, and stepped closer.   
  
He chuckled suddenly, with an amused look on his face. "Eating your feelings?" He asked. Damon reached a hand out and wiped at the corner of Bonnie's mouth with his thumb. Bonnie's eyes followed his hand, and for a split second she forgot she was upset, and that he'd broken her door.   
  
"Shut up." Bonnie said snapping out of it, "You fed me bullshit lies all day and then you show up here?"   
  
Damon looked at her, seemingly genuinely confused and taken a back. "Are you serious?" He asked.  
  
"Am I serious... Yes!" She huffed.   
  
Bonnie was still replaying the moments back at the grill in her head. She'd spent the last two weeks hanging out with Damon inbetween school, homework, and her part time job at the grill. Earlier that day after her shift Damon had come in, and while she sat eating her dinner, she offered him a drink to sit with her. After about fifteen minutes of trying to get him to spill whatever was going on inside his head, she gave up.   
  
"You accused me of being paranoid." Bonnie reminded him raising her eyebrows.  "You accused me of hiding something. Ten times." Damon said back at her, staring back into her eyes with his brows raised as well.   
  
"You are hiding something!" She yelled. Damon took another step closer with a angry look in his eyes. Bonnie looked up into his face with that same look on her face and her hands moved to her sides in fists. After a solid sixty seconds of staring at each other with enough intensity to burn down a barn, Damon finally started to chuckle weakly and put a hand on his forehead.   
  
"You are so stubborn, Bonnie." Damon sighed, and raked his fingers through his hair, the pitch black locks left messy and dangling along his forehead. "It's good."   
  
She blinked, and the expression on her face changed as suddenly Damon was there, and there he wasn't. All that was left behind was a slight breeze, and the door was pulled shut as hard as it could be without the lock. Bonnie just stood there, wondering why Damon had to be so dramatic, and then realized she was pretty dramatic too. That was just their thing. Being calm, and collected was also their thing, though. At least it had once been. Elena changed everything.   
  
"Elena always changes everything." She whispered. Bonnie remembered Elena changing her life since the moment she met her. Sometimes it was for the best, other times, she questioned... Before Elena, Bonnie had wanted to be in band, and choir, and was as much the Queen of after school art as a 10 year old could be. Sure, Bonnie and Elena grew up in the same town, went to the same school, but it wasn't until eighth grade that Elena became interested in Bonnie as a friend. The same with Caroline.    
  
Meeting Elena changed Bonnie's life a lot. She became a cheerleader, her personality developed a little more bitchy than it might have without Gilbert and Forbes. She hopped into dating quicker. All of those things weren't that bad though. They were things that might've happened no matter what, and having your first boyfriend at thirteen was nothing in retrospect.   
  
What had really changed...was Bonnie's soul, her power, the time on the earth. She had died so many times for Elena. She had met people who killed her, tried to kill her, because of Elena. For Elena... Now, she didn't have her best friend anymore, because of Elena.   
  
"Stop blaming Elena." Bonnie groaned at herself. She felt blaming everything on Elena Gilbert was giving her too much credit. Yet, she felt like it was the woman's fault. Maybe that wasn't true though... Damon had free will. He could've chosen not to date Elena, chosen not to lose touch with Bonnie, chosen to tell her the truth, and still be her best friend.   
  
Bonnie sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands. What was bothering her the most was not knowing what was going on with Damon. There was once a time when she could not give a single shit about Damon Salvatore; but, no matter how hard she tried now, she couldn't revert. He was clearly trying to pave a road back to being friends with her, but, he was also hiding something, and there was no way they were going to be best friends again if he couldn't tell her a secret. Wasn't that what best friends were about? They used to tell each other everything. They'd shared more stories than they thought possible in the prison world. Bonnie knew things even Elena and Stefan didn't. Damon knew things about her that only her Grams or the Goddess's had known.   
  
  
Bonnie finally looked at her phone, it had buzzed again. The first message was Damon's text from before he broke her door.   
  
 **I'm breaking the door.  
  
** She snorted and slapped a hand onto her head. Well, he did warn her... The second was from Caroline.   
  
 **Raincheck on our study session tmrw. I gtg 2 Tyler's!  
  
** Bonnie blinked and quickly texted back.   
  
 **He's back?**  
  
Caroline text back a moment later.   
  
 **Yes! I plan on wearing little 2 nothing.  
  
** Bonnie chuckled and shook her head a little. Thinking about Tyler and Caroline naked in the sack wasn't exactly a mental image she wanted to have. Tyler on his own, okay maybe. But, her friends together? Eh, that mental image was going to be burned. They were both beautiful people - but, Bonnie wanted some boundaries for her imagination.  
  
 **Have fun Carebear.  
  
** Bonnie was distracted from her Damon drama for a moment as she thought about visiting Tyler after his and Caroline's time together. However, this thought only lasted about a minute. Before she knew it, she was scheming on how to find out what Damon was hiding... A spell! Of course, there had to be some spell, and if there wasn't, she'd create one. It could be a sort of... ungraded...unassigned...occult project for school. That the school would never know about.   
  
Bonnie grinned to herself, feeling devious, and smart. She hopped off the couch, and then realized she hadn't finished her food. Grabbing a chocolate toaster strudel, Bonnie ate it as she ran around the house grabbing a few books, candles, a note pad and pen. Her fingers were sticky, but she wiped whem on her shorts. After thirty minute's she'd managed to whip up what she was sure was a truth revealing spell. Whatever Damon was hiding, should be revealed. Now, she wasn't sure exactly how... It would either appear in her mind, or on the paper... There was also a possibility of the truth being on a billboard somewhere, but...she was willing to take her chances.   
  
She paused as she was lighting the candles and realized... Is whatever Damon's hiding really even this serious? With a shrug she decided there was no harm in her little spell. If what Damon was hiding really was serious, it was better she know anywhere. If it wasn't, then, she could easily pretend she was completely oblivious. Maybe he was just dating a guy? He was bisexual... He told her that in 1994. Though, Bonnie couldn't figure out why he'd hide dating someone from her... She shook her head, she was assuming and getting ahead of herself.   
  
Taking a deep breath, she sat cross legged on the floor with the flickering candles. She whispered the five lines of the spell, over...and over... and over... Ten times in, and she opened one of her eyes. Nope...nothing...   
  
 _Maybe I need something of Damon's...  
  
_ She thought. Bonnie hopped up from the floor and walked into her bedroom. In the third drawer of the large oak dresser, was a fimilar flannel shirt that had once belonged to Damon. She still considered it to be Damons... Walking back out, Bonnie sat on the floor and started back up with the spell again, putting more fervor and intensity into it. She felt a little silly, but, sometimes magic called for being uber dramatic and intense... Bonnie felt a tingle through her entire body, and her head felt dizzy. This was good. She thought. It was working. Was it working right though?   
  
Suddenly, a volt of energy rushed from her socked feet to the top of her head. It was painful, but only as much as getting shocked by someone who rubbed their feet on a carpet. Bonnie gasped, and her eyes flew open. Surprisingly, instead of the scene of her living room, the candles, Damon's flannel and her note pad, there was a blinding white light in her eyes.  
  
 _Oh great, I'm dead._  
  
  
Was the first thing Bonnie thought; but, then the light moved, and another to her left tilted upwards. Voices and sounds flooded her ears, and in her vision she saw people all around her. It took her a moment to register where she was. Bonnie blinked, and sighed. She was in a hospital. Something must've happened...but, she was awake, so she was okay, right?   
  
Her eyes flickered around, and then she realized she wasn't in a bed. She was standing straight up on her own two feet. _Woah._ Feet that were wearing white sneakers....and legs, and arms, and her body that was clad in dark pants, blue shirt, and a white lab coat. Bonnie suddenly felt very dizzy again.   
  
"Oh no..." she whispered even though she had no idea what was going on and what to freak out about. People were walking and standing around the room which looked like the waiting room of Mystic Falls General Hospital. But, there were people sitting in chairs, and people in front of them fixing their make up.   
  
Suddenly there was a tap on her shoulder. Bonnie jumped and turned around staring into the bright blue, and frightened eyes of Damon Salvatore.   
"Please, god, tell em you're actually Bonnie." he whispered, looking at her desperately.   
  
"Yes! It's me." Bonnie said quickly, and they stared at each other in shock. Bonnie's eyes finally shifted down Damon's body. He was dressed similarly as a doctor, but he had a pen in one of his upper pockets and a stethoscope around his neck.   
  
"What is going on?" Damon asked her, and Bonnie flushed suddenly with embarrassment. Whatever the spell had done was not what it was supposed to do. How was she supposed to tell Damon she'd fucked up a spell and now... Well.. actually...what was now? What had happened?   
  
Bonnie furrowed her brow, and even though she knew Damon couldn't possibly know.... "Where the hell are we?" Bonnie whispered, her eyes shifting over to a large white poster next to an EXIT sign further off the room that said / **Vampire MD STAGE 3** /.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 


End file.
